From homeless and hated to my dream university, a 300k settlement, and a healed self-concept

The story

warning for a multitude of sensitive topics. child abuse & mental health issues

i was born into misfortune. my father was a drug addict, and my mother moved to the states to be with him. we lived in one of the most expensive areas in the US. my mother would work and i'd stay at home as my father got high. i was raised by my online friends. physical abuse, mental abuse, every variety. multiple attempts on my life. dozens of evictions, homelessness, barely floating by. when i was 9 i discovered manifestation via the law of attraction & subliminals. it was like the light at the end of the tunnel. and i can't tell you what i did, or what happened to me mentally. but one day i was pulled out of school, my dad had been arrested, and i would no longer see him again. all i had was the glimpse of hope to pull myself through. then he was gone, overnight. my mother remarried. suddenly we were in a healthy family, my stepfather was well off. but trauma & poverty had convinced me-- a very firm assumption, nothing good ever lasts.

the next years of my life from middle school to high school were difficult in a very different way, now every struggle was internal. i absolutely hated myself. i couldn't stand my face. i couldn't stand who i was as a person. i changed my personality, look, interests a million times over to please others. i could never escape it. i would cover mirrors because i would constantly enter episodes of extreme psychosis over my self perception. despite that, i was somehow living a pretty idealic highschool experience. 3 years in i was running multiple clubs, had many friends, a boyfriend, and my GPA never dropped below 4.0 until senior year. senior year i absolutely lost my shit. up until that point, the mental health issues were well managed. they were not my dominant thoughts, and i was surrounded by a support system that made me know i was loved. but one day i just completely lost it. and i would say to myself. everybody hates me. everybody was out to get me. every single moment of every single day i was rampaging horrific thoughts that i had no proof of. these were no longer intrusive thoughts but a genuine assumption i repeated 24/7. i had ruined 3 years in a span of about a few months. every single friend? despised me. absolutely hated me. parents became unemployed and we became homeless. i became sick & vomited for nearly half the year. genuinely not a single positive occurrence in my life. i made so many enemies and honestly they were valid in hating me, because my self hatred presented itself in the form of venomous anger. "wow [name] this doesn't sound like a success story at all!"

BUT JUST YOU WAIT!

http:// ── my success story . . . ⠀ 𓉸

sometime in January, I got back into manifestation, since i never really pursued it with any care. i was bedridden, vomiting my guts out, and out of school soo it wasn't like i had much to do anyways.. I researched every single thing I could find on the law of assumption, and realized that I had been a master manifester my entire life. My dominant thoughts, my assumptions (what i accepted to be true without proof..) had manifested themselves perfectly. I went from a happy social life where I was absolutely adored, and a luxury modern apartment -- to being absolutely hated, living in illegally in god who knows where..

And nothing changed except my thoughts.

Once I internalized how badly I fucked things up I locked in and I locked in HARD. I physically couldn't do anything so I used my mentality to do things for me. Belief (in good things happening)? None. Feeling? Absolutely horrible. Persistence was the only thing I had left because there was nothing left for me to possibly do. And it was never perfect. But half done and half perfect is so much better than completely slamming the door on the possibility of good. As of August,

I transferred into my dream university as a senior despite just turning 19. Moved to my dream city I manifested income for both me and my family despite us all being unemployed. I had my entire tuition covered by state aid. I manifested my dream dorm & rooming with my sp (my bf) I reconciled with someone who absolutely despised me (they approached and apologized first) I improved my mental health immensely, almost completely getting rid of my mental illnesses. I fixed my relationship with every family member, gained freedom (no curfew, tattoos and piercings) I fixed my self concept A 300k legal settlement for my family and most importantly..

I realized my own power. I realized that if everything in my reality is me then I am my own worst enemy and my only savior. do i blame myself for how my life was? blame is hardly the word. i saw my life improve, then i broke it apart, and put it back together. i am proud to hold myself accountable in how my life presents itself. i am proud of my improvement. absolute freedom came with giving myself absolute control.

there's really nothing for me to complain about now, honestly. but now i just want more and i intend to give myself more in every way i possibly can.

I hope my life story and the success story after it can serve as some hope for the mentally ill & struggling manifestors of this community. the law of assumption has absolutely changed my life, and i cannot thank LOAblr enough for the amazing resources that it has blessed me with. i hope to contribute to it in the same wonderful ways it has contributed to my life as well!