Revising a childhood memory unblocked my money

The story

I'm not sure my contribution qualifies as 'crazy,' but it was certainly wildly exciting to someone who enjoys in the introspective breakthroughs just as much as the outpictured ones. The method is a little bit Neville, a little bit Lester and a little bit me in its approach. It involves two seemingly unrelated things — failure to manifest money and regularly observing thoughts about other people's poor parenting standards.

I was trying to manifest more money into my life and, despite having good results in other areas, could never quite manage it. I'd read the work of Lester Levinson, which led me to the idea that I may have some kind of deep-rooted blockage that was preventing me truly believing I was living in the wish-fulfilled. I decided to try to identify the previous experience that was responsible, locate the power I'd once given it over me and take it back.

Around this time (and sporadically in the past) I found I was having numerous thoughts about other people's ability to parent. I was at the age where a lot of my friend's were having kids and I rarely had a good thought about their parenting styles. Some of the thoughts were bizarrely vitriolic too and had no basis in reality. So, of course, I observed those thoughts and used my regular practice of Vipassana meditation to gain insight about where they came from.

While sitting in meditation, a memory appeared from when I was around 8 or 9 years old. I was at home with my parents and my uncle. My uncle took a loaf of bread from the bread basket and pretended he was going to take it home. Little me was distraught about it and I remember crying thinking I'd never see that bread again. To the adults in the room this was a game they were playing, so they were laughing because I was essentially crying over nothing. To little me, this was devastating. I was distressed as I thought something was being taken from me forever, and the people that were supposed to care for me were mocking me along the way. I knew that was the memory that needed revising.

Here's what I did:

I got into a SATS and visualised the scene from the perspective of me as a child. I felt everything. My mind wandered away in little acts of protective resistance, but I dragged it back to the scene. My tears, their laughter, the feeling of lack and that people are free to just take the things I have. I invited more of the pain to the surface. I told it that I know it wants to leave and I'm here to help it do so. At this stage, it's important to listen to your body and feel the physical sensations too (whenever I do this, all of my trauma is located in my throat, upper and lower jaws which makes sense to me, but is another story). I followed this stage with a deep breath in imagining my body filling with white, cleansing light and breathing out black, gunky energy.

The next stage is to accept that I have powered this memory with the belief that it is capable of controlling my behaviours. Then, call to mind the behaviours that have stemmed from the beliefs I've given that scene. For me, this was 'people will take anything I have,' 'people who care about me will let me down,' and 'I am unwanted and my feelings aren't taken seriously.' These appeared on their own and I've seen them play out in my life numerous times. This stage ends with the same invitation for more thoughts to arise with love and kindness, and a deep breath in and out.

Here's the revision part (you've kindly been so patient!). Now I play the scene as I wanted it to happen. Again, from the perspective of little me, I visualised my uncle playing around in the same way, but when it went too far and I began to cry, my parents stood up for me and told him to stop (people who a supposed to care, actually caring). The joke had gone too far, and they protected me when I could not. My uncle apologised (respect for the way I felt) and put the bread back (things that are mine, remain mine and are respected as such). All the positive feelings came flooding in, and, of course, I invited more and allowed them to spread throughout my body allowing myself to enjoy them fully. We're not done yet...

I change perspective now and insert my adult self into the scene. I kneel down, look at little me and tell him everything works out okay. I tell him about his future life (my past), the things he's going to achieve, the fun times, the love he'll experience and how amazing the world truly is. We have a conversation and it leaves him excited about the future rather than fearful. This bridges the connection to myself throughout time and cements the whole experience with the bond of absolute truth.

Following this, all thoughts of parental criticism stopped instantly. I had to try to find them and when I did they seemed beyond silly. I'd taken the power from that memory back (and others too imagine, I find it's feeling-based rather than particular memories) and it no longer reflected in my outer world. This improved my inner world, and the relationships with my friends too. It also unblocked the path to money manifestations. I'd lived a life of earning money to a certain point (almost an exact figure) then throwing it all away frivolously. I didn't build wealth because deep down I thought it'd be taken away. I didn't think I deserved good things because the people who were supposed to care were happy to let them be taken and I'd always felt the equation that solves life was Me + (something) = acceptance because I wasn't good enough for respect just being me.

All that's changed and the money flew in pretty quickly after that. Not just money, but new opportunities everywhere. Now I need to manifest writing shorter posts. Maybe there's a memory somewhere when I was admonished for not hitting a minimum word count. Hmmm...best go find it!

TLDR I used a combination of techniques to remove blockages while manifesting money. Observing my thoughts showed me what I needed to revise, and after doing so I reduced negative thoughts, expelled some of that gunky energy I'd been carrying around, brought more peace to my daily life and relationships, and manifested money and new income opportunities.