Revising a painful acting class memory

The story

I was in a prominent acting class* and had a wild crash and burn. Figure I’ll spare the gory details but overall, public panic attack, blank brain, shaky body, halting voice, feeling the vibe of the room come to a standstill (like seeing a car crash), COMPLETELY burning with shame. My brain would revisit this constantly over the following years, reliving it in detail and making me feel like utter garbage for days after.

WELP, beyond time for imagination to step in. After learning about NG and ‘The Pruning Shears of Revision’ I revised it to just fun- having fun with song and dance (I am excellent at karaoke 😄), hearing the laughs of the people in the room, applause, hearing comments like ‘You should be on SNL!’ (Hearing is particularly powerful in my visioning/revisioning.) And overall feeling my heart’s joy at bringing joy to those around me, and gratitude at cultivating some sparkle and fun.

Firstly, the revision is now just a joyous memory that’s fun to revisit. Secondly, I have disabled the ‘ammo’ of the first memory - thanks to the universe and all the gods I’ve stopped terrorizing myself with memories but that’s been a LONG journey and this had been one of the most potent.

I am SO grateful to discover NG and learn there’s even an option 🤯 not to mention a more powerful option than trying to bury the memory. Revision has been a game-changer over here!!

*I understand this seeming insubstantial/also wildly privileged! Yet I can’t tell you how often my previously self-eviscerating habits of mind would call up this memory to inflict damage. No more!!

Also not sure this qualifies as ‘craziest’ but has had a huge impact on me. I hope someone finds value in the share