I manifested my ex-fiancé back after he said he wanted nothing to do with me. We moved into our first home and I doubled my income.

The story

I've been wanting to make this post for SO long because I remember being on this subreddit during the worst part of my manifestation journey, reading other people's success stories and wondering how on earth they managed to let go when I couldn't even stop thinking about my situation for five minutes.

I manifested my ex-fiancé back and honestly, if you had told me this would be my life while I was going through it, I would have struggled to believe you.

We're back together, we've moved into our first home together and our relationship is genuinely better than I could have imagined. He loves on me constantly, gets me flowers all the time and he literally wrote a song for me. The person who had previously told me he wanted nothing to do with me is now living with me and showing me so much love.. A relationship so toxic to the healthiest one I've ever experienced..

That still blows my mind.

Because the reality is that I was a complete mess for weeks beforehand.

I was absolutely obsessed with the outcome. I wanted him back so badly that I couldn't switch my brain off. I was constantly thinking about what he was doing, what he was thinking, whether he was going to come back, when he would come back, whether something had changed, whether I was doing enough, whether I needed to affirm more, whether I needed to visualise more, whether I was seeing enough signs, etc. Literal obsession. Plus, I was obsessed if he was seeing other women.

It was exhausting and I actually came to this community asking for advice because I couldn't stop obsessing over it. I knew people kept saying to “let go,” but I genuinely didn't understand how I was supposed to do that. I remember thinking, “How am I supposed to let go when this is the one thing I want more than anything?”. They also told me to assume it's mine, but it took me so long to get into that headspace.

I think I had completely misunderstood what letting go actually meant.

I thought letting go meant I had to stop wanting him. I thought it meant I had to somehow convince myself I didn't care anymore. But I didn't want to stop wanting him, and every time I tried to force myself to “detach,” I ended up thinking about the situation even more.

Eventually I realised that what I actually needed to let go of wasn't the desire. It was the obsession with the outcome.

I wanted to know WHEN it was going to happen. I wanted to know HOW it was going to happen. I wanted to know what he was thinking and what was happening behind the scenes. I wanted proof that it was working. I wanted reassurance. Eventually I just got tired.

I reached a point where I thought, “I know what I want. I don't need to keep checking whether it's coming.”

That was the beginning of actually letting go for me. It wasn't some magical moment where I suddenly stopped caring. It took me weeks and even after I started making progress, I still had doubts and emotional days. The difference was that I stopped treating those thoughts like they were going to ruin everything.

This was probably one of the biggest changes for me. Whenever I had a thought like “What if this doesn't happen?” I used to panic. I'd think that I'd just ruined my manifestation and then I'd try to force myself back into a positive mindset. Eventually I started telling myself that doubt was actually going to make my manifestation stronger. If I had a negative thought, I would just let it pass. I'd remind myself that a random thought wasn't going to determine my reality and I didn't need to fight with my own brain all day. I could have doubts and still get what I wanted. I could have a bad day and still get what I wanted. I could cry and still get what I wanted.

That took an enormous amount of pressure off me.

Another thing that helped me SO much was listening to subliminals while I slept. I started making them part of my nighttime routine and would just put them on and go to sleep. I wasn't sitting there trying to force myself to believe something or analysing whether they were “working.” I just let them play in the background, and I genuinely felt like they helped me change the way I was thinking over time. They were the game changer IMO.

I also started spending a lot more time with my friends, which I think was incredibly important. I stopped talking about the situation constantly and stopped making him the centre of every conversation. I went out, laughed, did normal things and started having a life again.

That actually helped me detach without even deliberately trying to.

I was finally remembering that my life was still happening regardless of what he was doing.

I also made a really conscious effort to start seeing myself as the prize. This wasn't about thinking I was better than anyone else. It was about genuinely believing that I was someone who deserved to be loved, wanted, chosen and appreciated.

Instead of constantly asking myself, “How do I make him choose me?” I started asking myself, “Why wouldn't he choose me?”

I started thinking about how I would behave if I genuinely knew that I was loved and that everything was working out for me. Would that version of me constantly check for signs? Would she spend hours analysing someone's behaviour? Would she panic every time she didn't get a message?

Probably not.

So I started trying to embody that version of myself. I definitely didn't do it perfectly, but I kept coming back to it. Whenever I caught myself slipping into the old mindset, I would bring my attention back to myself.

I stopped making the situation my entire life.

I stopped constantly checking.

I stopped talking about it all the time.

I started going out with friends and enjoying myself.

I started listening to my subliminals at night.

I stopped being afraid of my own doubts.

I genuinely reached a point where I wasn't sitting around waiting anymore.

And THAT is when things started moving! My ex came back.

And the circumstances weren't something I could have planned or predicted. I spent so much time trying to figure out exactly HOW we would get back together, but none of that mattered in the end. I didn't need to know the bridge of events. I just needed to stop trying to control it.

Now we're living together in our first home. :)

He's incredibly loving towards me, gets me flowers all the time, loves on me constantly and literally wrote me a song. It's such a different reality from the one I was experiencing when I was sitting there obsessing over whether he would ever come back.

I've also had a huge manifestation around money, which I think is worth mentioning because it made me realise that this wasn't just about one specific person.

I'm now earning double what I used to.

Obviously, I'm still working and taking opportunities, so I'm not saying money just magically appeared in my bank account. But my entire mindset around money and what I was capable of earning changed. I stopped looking at myself as someone who had to settle for what I had and started seeing myself as someone who could actually have more.

And somehow, I'm now earning twice what I used to.

I also manifested an apology text from someone who did me wrong FOUR YEARS AGO. I thought about it, believed it, and let go. I got a text almost three weeks to the dot later.

Looking back, I think the biggest lesson for me is that letting go doesn't mean giving up. It doesn't mean deciding you don't want something anymore and it doesn't mean pretending you don't care.

For me, letting go meant deciding that I didn't need to constantly monitor the situation.

I could want my ex back and still go out with my friends, I could believe in my manifestation and still have doubts, I could listen to subliminals and then forget about the whole thing for the rest of the day, I could have a bad day without thinking I'd ruined everything.

Most importantly, I could stop making the outcome responsible for whether I was going to be okay. I think that's what finally changed things for me. I started putting my attention back onto myself instead of constantly looking outside of myself for proof.

And I really want to say this to anyone who is currently in the obsessive stage because I know EXACTLY what that feels like. I was literally the person coming onto this subreddit asking how to stop obsessing. I know how impossible it feels when everyone tells you to “just let go” and you feel like you physically can't.

You don't have to become perfectly detached overnight. You don't have to stop thinking about your manifestation completely. You don't have to have perfect thoughts every day. And you don't have to panic every time you experience doubt. You just need to start putting your attention back on your own life.

Go see your friends. Do things you enjoy. Stop talking about the situation every five minutes. Listen to subliminals if they help you. Let yourself have doubts without making them mean anything. Start looking at yourself differently. Start asking yourself what your life would feel like if you already knew you were worthy of everything you wanted.

For me, the biggest shift was going from “I hope this happens” to “I know what I want and I don't need to obsess over when it happens.”

It took me a long time to genuinely get there but I'm so glad I did.

Because now I'm living with my ex-fiancé in our first home, getting flowers from him, having him write songs for me and earning twice what I used to.

I genuinely couldn't have pictured this when I was in the middle of that spiral.

So if you're struggling right now, please don't beat yourself up. I was there too. Just keep bringing your attention back to yourself and keep living your life.

And if anyone has questions about what I did, the subliminals, how I dealt with the doubt, how I got myself out of the obsessive stage, or anything else, PLEASE comment. I would genuinely be so happy to help because I remember how much I needed someone to talk to when I was going through it. ❤️

TL;DR: I spent weeks obsessing over getting my ex-fiancé back and even asked this community for advice because I couldn't let go of the outcome. Eventually I stopped trying to control when/how it would happen, started focusing on myself and seeing myself as the prize, listened to subliminals while I slept, spent more time with friends and stopped constantly talking about the situation. I also stopped being scared of doubt and decided that doubt would actually make my manifestation stronger. My ex eventually came back, we got back together, moved into our first home together, and he's now incredibly loving towards me, gets me flowers and even wrote me a song. I've also manifested a huge financial change and now earn double what I used to. The biggest thing I learned was that letting go doesn't mean giving up on what you want — it means letting go of the need to constantly monitor the outcome.